life is short, and you are hot (iamtheenemy) wrote in polyfandomrecs,
life is short, and you are hot
iamtheenemy
polyfandomrecs

rec dump #2

John/Sherlock - 16 Recs

Meet me inside by wakeneve - AU where Sherlock and John are both in jail. Sherlock takes a shine to John. Keeps well with the tone of the show. Not super angsty/violent like most prison AUs. Sherlock is wrongly accused of murder, but won't help Lestrade find the real killer out of sheer bloody-mindedness. John kills the crazy cabbie from the first episode. [NC-17, ~19000 words, sexual violence, mild non-explicit torture]

“Watson,” said Stamford. "This is Sherlock Holmes.”

Doctor John Watson, thought Sherlock, the cold blooded killer of an innocent cabbie.

“All right,” said John without looking up.

“Hmm,” said Sherlock looking him up and down. Dull light brown hair, care worn face, shapeless grey prison tracksuit that hid the body beneath it so well that it baffled even Sherlock’s powers of deduction. He sighed; he was rather particular about his cell mates.


A Silver Sixpence by _doodle - Forced to marry AU. I loved the evolution of their relationship in this story. [NC-17, ~16400 words, no warnings]

“We need to get married,” Sherlock repeated in that tone of his that said Why must I be burdened by such idiocy?

John knew Sherlock hated repetition but felt that in this case there really was no way that Sherlock was going to get away with blurting that one out just once, without any questioning. Or repetition.

John considered Sherlock’s declaration and realised there was only one way to deal with this newest bout of Sherlock-being-mental. Which was, with his usual good humour. “Branching out into bigamy, then?”


Stringplay by PrettyArbitrary - Violin porn of top quality. I never knew I needed this in my life until I had it. [Explicit, 3200 words, no warnings]

Adrift somewhere between the Strad and his interior self, John doesn't hear the front door, or the footsteps that halt halfway up the ground floor stairs. After some indeterminate time, the change in the flat’s acoustics registers. He opens his eyes to investigate.

Sherlock is leaning in the hall doorway, watching him with eyes that glow with intensity.

John freezes, feeling like a man caught out with someone else's lover. Oh god. How long has he been there? How much has he heard? What did he hear? John stares back awkwardly, mouth halfway open and empty of words to explain or apologize.


The Engagement by parrotfic - Royalty AU where King Mycroft has set up an arranged marriage with Prince John. [NC-17, 9500 words, no warnings]

"You could have at least told me first," Sherlock says. He is very much aware that he is sulking like a child, but he's the second son, and he was never expected to behave as well as Mycroft. No child could have ever been better behaved than Mycroft. Sherlock was always left to his own pursuits, most of which were far more entertaining than whatever his parents had thought was most appropriate for a prince of his standing.

"Yes, and then you would have thrown a similar tantrum in front of the Watsons' delegation, which would have put them off enough that they would have withdrawn their marriage proposal," Mycroft says. He smiles. Surely Mycroft has spent hours in front of his mirror perfecting that self-important shark-tooth smirk.


that thing you like by Miss Pamela - Sherlock takes John home for Christmas. John comes to some interesting conclusions. [NC-17, ~7100 words, no warnings]

Sherlock closed the laptop, strode over to the mantel, tapped it with his finger, opened his mouth, walked into the kitchen, picked up a mug, put it down again, then came back in to the sitting room and threw himself on the couch, eyes resolutely shut. "I want you to come home with me," he announced.

"I am home with you," John said, frowning. If he didn't know better, he'd think Sherlock was nervous. You had to have nerves for that, though. "Flatmates, remember?"


The Love Song of Dr. John H. Watson by kate-lear - John comes up with the perfect Valentine's Day gift. [NC-17, 11000 words, no warnings]

The other great love of Sherlock’s life, John has come to realise, is London itself, in all its busy, dirty, loud, sparkling glory. Sherlock loves to be at the centre of it, like a spider sitting in his web, and he knows it like another person would know the body of their lover, like John is slowly getting to know Sherlock’s.

The Troubles Of Marriage Counselling by starjenni - John and Sherlock attend marriage counseling for a case. It goes about as well as you'd imagine. [T, no warnings]

"Yes." Sherlock flips through a sheaf of papers. "As John and Sam Turner. I have the paperwork here, courtesy of Mycroft."

John stares. "Hang on - you mean, we're going to be married?"

Sherlock is frowning at the paperwork distractedly. He says, "Problem?"

"Yeah, we're both men, Sherlock!"

"Excellently deduced. However, this place also caters for gay couples, so it's not a problem."


Acts of God by thehoyden - John has a section on his financial spreadsheet titled "Acts of God (Sherlock)". [PG, no warnings]

'It's an appalling waste of my time,' Sherlock said dismissively when John brought it up. 'My chequebook is the drawer, just forge my signature and be done with it -- stop making that face, it isn't that difficult. Here, I'll show you.' Sherlock evidently found making John an accessory to fraud an uplifting exercise, or so he gathered from the slight smile pulling at the corners of Sherlock's mouth while he lambasted John's attempts to follow the sharp scrawl of his name.

That was how John became the one in charge of their household budget. He had a careful spreadsheet made up, all neatly colour-coded. There were sections marked for rent, bills, groceries, and miscellaneous living expenses.

Within three days, he was forced to add a new section: Acts of God (Sherlock).


Like Leaves & Kings (All Things Must Fall) by gyzym - Sherlock, shockingly, is not the ideal flatmate. [PG-13, ~5000 words, warnings: snakes]

"Sherlock?" he asks at once, which is ridiculous. The bathroom door creaks like anything; John would have heard him come in. He turns around anyway, glancing over at the sink with suspicion, but there's no one there.

Then he turns back to the showerhead and meets the gaze of a light green snake, and realizes his first instinct would actually have been preferable.

"I'm dreaming," he says, looking at the thing. It's about two feet long, slim and coiled around the shower head, staring down at him with inquisitive, beady eyes. "I have to be dreaming. This is central London. There's not a bloody snake in my bathroom. Right?"

"Sssssssss," the snake offers helpfully, and that's about enough to be getting on with.


Follow The Leader by empyrean - Sherlock is turned on by competence. Shouldn't be a surprise. [~1700 words]

'Warzone. Lack of trained doctors – you would know.'

'He stitched these himself.' He was right, he knew it. He felt more than saw Sherlock moving to crouch opposite him, following his gaze.

'How did you come to that conclusion?'


All's Fair by gyzym - Sherlock declares a leaf war. [R, no warnings]

"Mmm," John says. He's still replaying the argument in his mind, letting the fury roil through him. His sister had hit him. Hit him! For daring to suggest she go a little easier on--well, okay, and for daring to pour a really pricey bottle of wine down the drain and compare her to Uncle Josiah, but really. It was so much easier when they were kids, when all he had to do was tell her she'd been wrong and she'd stop, because he was her big brother and he would put a frog in her bed or pull her hair or start a leaf fight--

"Leaf fight," Sherlock repeats, alerting John to the fact that he's been speaking aloud. He considers blushing for a split second, remembers that Sherlock can, for all intents and purposes, read his mind, and thinks better of it.

"Yeah," he says. "Y'know. Rolling around. Didn't you and Mycroft ever--"


any amount of sense by preromantics - Five times people thought that John and Sherlock were dating. I'm assuming that's five fictional times, as opposed to all the times it's actually happened on the show. [PG-13, 5200 words, no warnings]

“Nice scarf,” she says, joining their group to follow Sherlock’s shimmy up the ladder in front of them.

“Thanks,” John says, reasonably, without much inflection.

“The freak been rubbing off on --”

“Donovan,” Lestrade says, a tired-sounding warning before he ascends the ladder after Sherlock.


Only Human by irisbleufic - Sherlock proves that he's not immune to normal, human needs. [NC-17, no warnings]

After a while, the signs of Sherlock's exhaustion were unmistakable. Enhanced irritability. Snappishness on the scene that extended beyond Lestrade and company to John's own person. Refusal to drink, let alone eat. More than three patches to a problem. There was nothing for it, usually, except to wait for the inevitable crash. Sometimes John was there for it, and sometimes he wasn't. He always tried to be.

Act of Charity & sequels by wordstrings - You need to do a little work to follow the stories. Start at Act of Charity and work your way through. The relationship between John and Sherlock is obsessive and not at all healthy, but incredibly compelling nonetheless. They love each other in a way that other people wouldn't understand, but that works for them. [NC-17, long series, unhealthy, obsessive relationships (on both sides), possessiveness, extreme co-dependency, morbid thoughts]

"Suppose I'd better put condoms on this list, eh?"

Sherlock coolly finished typing his sentence. It was an email to a client in Wales. But she hadn't included the right information, so he was demanding to know what breed of dog her accountant owned, large or small, because people--ordinary people--think about things like their dogs when they are buying new flats with embezzled funds.

"Don't bother."

John's eyebrows went a bit...well, crushed was too strong a word. His face is so very wonderfully rumpled, however. So not crushed, but certainly deflated.

"No, I'll have whatever sorts of sex you like, looking forward to it, but you needn't bother buying condoms. Waste of money."

John leaned forward with his elbows on the table, almost upsetting his tea, looking very trained-medical-professional all of a sudden.

"They are not a waste of money."

Sherlock smirks, ducking his chin slightly. "Well, I'm not very likely to get you pregnant, am I, with or without a johnny? Let's think this through a bit better. I'm a freak, yes, but I do possess a very typical male reproductive system, that I can promise you. I'm not biologically freakish. The reverse being equally true, or so I assume, I can't see why you'd want to mess with the things, it would be a complete waste of time, and anyway they're--"


A Thorough Study On The Ordinary Baker Street Fauna by nekomitsu - John overhears Sherlock speaking to his bff the skull. [PG, 3500 words, no warnings]

John's reasons are elementary: the skull doesn't bite, poison, maim, rot or kill. Sherlock's motives aren't so clear, but his obvious preferences can be inferred – and John, after long months living with the world's one and only consulting detective, has certainly learned to infer – from the replacements that keep popping up after Mrs. Hudson's latest cleaning spree.

The Art of Flat-Sharing by out_there - John is a rubbish flatmate, making Sherlock clean and eat and not blow the place up. [5700 words]

So Sherlock helps. Even though it's unnecessary; even though the dishes, like the hoovering, will be done by Mrs Hudson if left for three weeks or more (on average, twenty-two days seems to be her breaking point). Sherlock washes and John dries, or vice versa, and they talk about John's day (Sherlock deduces, John confirms) and the latest scientific findings on toenail decomposition or obscure European assassins or how a Swiss watch made in the 90s differs from one made today.
Tags: pairing: sherlock/john, sherlock
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